If You Can’t Say Anything Nice…
“Speak not evil one of another, brethren. He that speaketh evil of his brother, and judgeth his brother, speaketh evil of the law, and judgeth the law: but if thou judge the law, thou art not a doer of the law, but a judge.” James 4:11
One of the hardest things to do is to keep our mouths shut instead of blabbing to others when we have information about, particularly a fellow believer, that is contrary to the believer’s status as a child of God. Jesus gave us the protocol for confronting fellow believers about their sin in Matthew 18:15-17. He said that if a brother (or sister) in Christ sins against you, then go to him or her in private and show him or her where he or she has crossed the line from living in righteousness over into a pattern of sin. If the one who has sinned accepts the warning and repents, then he or she will be grateful for your guidance and continue as your friend. However, if he or she refuses your warning and continues in the path of sin, then the next step is to call in two or three others to confront the offender. If that doesn’t convince the offender, the final step is to present him or her before the entire church body for discipline which may mean a dismissal from the congregation. This is not to be done with a vindictive spirit, but one of love and concern for the spiritual welfare of the offender, sort of a “tough love” demonstration to hopefully call the offender to repentance and reconciliation.
James is conveying to us that it is not one believer’s place to set himself or herself up as judge and jury over another believer’s words, behaviors, or attitudes. Jesus said to “judge not that ye be judged” (Matthew 7:1). That wasn’t a suggestion; it was a command. Most of our mothers have told us when we were young, “If you can’t say anything nice about someone, then don’t say anything at all.” And we, in turn, have said that to our own children and grandchildren. When we make a disparaging remark about others, we are assuming a position of sovereignty and righteousness in interpreting God’s law as it concerns another. There are certain items and ideas to which God doesn’t address in His word, but instead leaves it up to the believer to follow his or her own convictions. These items and ideas are not things which are sinful, but more about taste and preferences. An example from the early days of Christianity about which Paul discussed in Romans 14:1-8 was observing certain days as holier than other days by some believers, but other believers treated each day the same. Another example spoke of some believers who abstained from eating meats offered to idols because they didn’t feel right about eating the meat even though the idols had no effect on it. James said that no one is to judge another for their own personal convictions. A modern day, secular version of this example would be a vegetarians who criticize those who eat meat or meat eaters who mock the vegans.
When one judges another for following his or her own convictions about those things of which God did not speak one way or the other, then the criticizer has set himself or herself up as an arbiter of a law that God didn’t make, thus making himself or herself a usurper of God’s sovereignty. In other words, it’s like trying to enforce one’s own standards upon others. We don’t want others doing that to us. That’s God’s job.