Happy Birthday Son
“Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct thy paths.” Proverbs 3:5-6
On this day, February 1, 2019, my son would have been celebrating his 40th birthday. When he was young, I used to wonder what he would be like at that age. He already had a lot of gray in his hair at 31 so I suppose his hair might be as gray as mine is by now. He likely would have a couple of children, and hopefully his business would be prosperous. But most of all, he would have grown in his faith and continued to be a committed servant of Jesus Christ. Of course he wasn’t perfect, because none of us are, and was somewhat rebellious as a teenager, but he never got into trouble with the law other than getting pulled over in his 1992 red Mustang for minor traffic violations and perhaps some other things of which I am not aware, but we never had to bail him out of jail, thank the Lord.
He held various jobs from the age of 14 when he bagged groceries at the local Winn Dixie. He went on from there to various jobs that teenagers fill, but his real passion was working outdoors. His Dad and I instilled in him and his sister a strong work ethic just as we had been taught when we were young. I remember telling my Dad that I wanted a car, and he said, “Get a job.” So I did. When my son was 20, he worked for our church and was privileged to go on short term mission trips to Beijing, China, Portugal, and he volunteered to help with the clean up after Hurricane Katrina in Biloxi, Mississippi. My son worked for different landscape companies, and while working full time for one, he took a part time job with the county in order to earn the money to buy an engagement ring for his sweetheart. He eventually started his own landscape company and enjoyed being his own boss.
My son befriended a neighbor of ours who was a Vietnam veteran and who had grown up in a very dis-functional home. The neighbor was twice my son’s age yet my son became like a mentor to him, helping him spiritually and emotionally. I have included some excerpts of letters that my son had written to my neighbor who was working at the time for a contractor in Iraq. He was kind enough to give me copies of these letters after my son had passed away.
2/13/06: “I just wanted to drop you a letter and tell you I’m really glad to know you. You’re a great friend. I am really proud of how you have been able to turn your life around. I’m really thankful for the Lord and how much he loves us and continues to help us along even though it doesn’t seem like He’s even there sometimes. I know I question His existence sometimes and then turn around and have something happen that only He could do. I want you to know that I pray for you, and I miss you when you’re gone (overseas).”
11/5/06: “We are still active in church. I don’t know what I would do if it weren’t for the Lord. As bad as I am and as many mistakes as I make, He still takes care of me. I don’t know anyone else like that. I hope you have had opportunities to spend time with Him. I need to do more of that.”…..”There has been a lot of weird things happening to me. I have lost some friends that I have known for 10 plus years. None of them were Christians or good influences on me. We got into arguments and just never spoke again. I think it’s God’s will, and maybe He’s preparing me for something different.”
At the funeral home visitation for my son, several people whom I did not know told me stories of kind deeds that he had done for them over the years. One young man told me that my son had saved his life. It was not a physical rescue, but one of a spiritual nature which helped the young man to change the direction of his life. He wanted to tell me the whole story at a later date, but I never saw him again and don’t know who he is. My son loved the Lord and lived his life with an eye on eternity. In the letter of 2/13/06, he wrote a postscript: “PS: I was thinking about heaven today and thinking about how great it will be to live without worry or problems. It will be great.”
His death was the most tragic thing that I have ever experienced. We know that the natural order for life is for your parents to pass away, then a spouse or yourself, but you don’t expect to outlive a child. We just have to realize that God knows what He is doing, and that He never makes a mistake. We just have to trust Him as Proverbs 3:5 admonishes. God didn’t say we had to like those things that turn our lives upside down, but we are to trust Him. I have discovered that trusting the Lord and leaning on Him, living one day at a time, is the only way to truly survive and overcome adversity. I think about my son and my husband in heaven and wonder what they are doing about now. I know one thing. If they had the chance to return to this old sin-cursed world, they would choose to remain in the beautiful, peaceful realm of Christ’s kingdom.